April 09, 2005
This is Your Captain

Hey there, remember me? What with the travelling, the restructuring at work, and a recent cold/flu, lemonodor.com has been, and I am safe in confessing this to you, I'm sure, neglected. It was running on autopilot. Headed straight for a self-sustaining fusion reaction brought about by solar masses of pure spam. A cool computerized voice notifying anyone left that it was “Too late for remedial action. The core has begun to melt. Engines will overload in two minutes, thirty-five seconds”.

Fukken computer is always so eager to say shit like that.

All it took was an emergency override block on the commenticator to give me some room to breathe, and an hour later this ship was back on course. Lovely velcro-soled stewardesses began serving complimentary martinis in sippy cups ten minutes after that, and we have “Raising Arizona” on the screens (free headsets for everyone).

Good evening, this is your captain. We are about to attempt to remain cool.

Posted by jjwiseman at April 09, 2005 01:40 PM
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